Lynne McCabe
Porter, Indiana
I have participated in the Prayer Mill since its infancy, and from the beginning, when we would start the prayer, I would immediately feel profound peace flow throughout my body and awareness. I could feel my mind struggle against the stillness, and as the prayers progressed, the stillness within me increased. During the first session I had a vision of swirling tentacles of energy flowing around me, with fear at the center of the energy swirl, and had the sense that this was all of the attachments to other people I had created, and watched as the energy was being pulled out of me and taken away. There was no feeling of fear or anxiety while this was happeneing, just an acknowledgement of what I had created. The message I received of trust in God and just taking one little baby step was a very profound message for me, and I could feel this burden of "how am I going to do my work?" and "how do I create this work?" be lifted from me. I knew all I had to do was trust, take that step in faith, and it is already done. This was such a freeing energy. I saw many colors, all of them healing, peaceful colors during this prayer, and I cold feel pressure being applied and then released in the heart area. Once the swirling tentacles left, energies started moving through my body, and the stomach and solar plexus areas started gurgling and making all kinds of noises, which is normal for me when energy is running through me. After the prayer, I felt light hearted, full of joy, and excitement about the future. Before, my fears would stop me in my tracks, but this time, there was no fear to stop me. I'm finally starting to realize that it is not "me" doing this work, but God in me, and this realization has lifted a huge burden from me.
The following day, I continue to feel peace within, while observing impatience and anger on the surface. So I started asking why I was feeling the anger and impatience, especially with my life partner? I'm aware of shifting of energies within me, and continue to just feel what I'm feeling and observe myself without getting too caught up in it. It's time for me to become more the director and less the actor. Within a couple of days, I'm realizing that my anger is really about my not speaking up with my partner and telling him about how I really feel about the patterns in our relationship. I also decided that I would tell him I'm not going on his annual fishing trip with him this coming winter, I'm not willing to play the games that have been played every other trip. It felt good to express this to him, and the anger has eased considerably. And then I face my fears about the dentist and go to my appointment that day, only to find that there really wasn't anything to be that fearful about. Interesting how so many things that derail us are so simple, it's only the fear that makes it seem insurmountable.
And then I receive the text that it's time for another prayer vigil, and I immediately begin to think of everything else going on in my life, but then I chose to do this and put this first, so I decided to tell my partner I'm doing the vigil, and need some time for myself to do this, and he agreed. And then the excitement starts building within me again. At the beginning of this prayer, I asked for healing of my physical body, and clear direction asking how I can serve God better, how to be a better example.
The answer I received was the perfection of my body - each cell, working in harmony with each other, all of the individual cells, each containing and being the expression of God, being in harmony to make the one whole body. And then the remembrance of God in each cell sent waves of joy and ecstasy through each cell into the whole, leaving me with the knowledge and certainty that my body is radiantly healed. Even the pain I am experiencing tonight is only serving to remind me of the perfection of my body, adding a beatiful harmony to the melodies of joy circulating throughout my body with each breath and beat of my heart. I hear birds sing outside my window and instantly feel the joy of their song. My cat came and climbed onto the cushion next to me and I could feel the harmony and love merging our energies into one. God answered my earlier questions, reminding me that I am Heaven walking this earth now, in the present moment, not some point in the future, and to remind myself every day of my faith. And I feel my body become lighter.
